It happened...

On October 20th around 10:00 pm my husband rushed me to the ER. I was losing a tremendous amount of blood and was having horrible painful contractions. They got me hooked up to an IV, which this was my first time ever having one, then they started to take my vitals. My blood pressure was so low they wouldn't give me anything for the pain. After a while they came to get me to have an ultra sound done, this was so painful. The doctor was pressing on my uterus and while I was having a contraction it was almost unbearable. I was sqeezing the life out of my husbands hand and crying. The doctor didn't really tell me much and after a few minutes sent me back to my room. By this time I had lost so much blood they had to wheel me around in a wheel chair because my body was shaking and I didn't have the strength to hold myself up. Once I got back to my room they said my blood pressure had gone up enough to give me some pain medication. I was so happy to get something for the pain because only us women who have had contractions know exactly how painful these are. They gave me my dose and at first all I noticed was that it had just shortned the contractions but it hadn't taken away the pain. I continued to deal with the pain and they even gave me two more doses but it wasn't doing anything for my pain. At one point the contractions had got so bad my husband thought I was going to die. It was one of the scariest situations I have ever been in. I've never even had to go to the hospital except when I was young and had no idea what was going on. The lady doctor that had been helping me all night then told me my options. It was either a D & C or wait it out which could take several hours, possibly days. Me and Joe talked about it and as my pain just progressed and got worse I decided I would go through with the D & C. The lady doctor then proceeded to go get an OB from labor and delivery. Around 2:00 am I felt a gush and ran to the bathroom. I started feeling much better but the contractions weren't completely gone. When I walked out of the bathroom the OB was waiting for me. My husband had already noticed the change in my comfort and so did the OB. The OB then wanted to give me an exam to see if he could see anything. Well, he did and so he then proceeded to pull it out for me instead of me having to go through more contractions. It was so painful but immidiately after he got done I noticed a HUGE change. I wasn't feeling any more discomfort or pain and it was then that I knew it was over.

It happened, I misscarried and I got through it. It's hard to explain how I felt through this entire experience. It started out very hard and very emotional and by the time I had come to accept it, it took over itself and passed on it's own. I remember times laying in pain and asking God to please just help me through and hold my hand, and I don't know who or what it really was but my hands had warmed up and I felt at ease for that moment. I know this experience has made me stronger and has made my faith in my family, god, and my husband grow. My husband truly was my hero this night. He made it ok, and helped me through. I couldn't have done it without him or without the support of friends and family. I love you all and lets never take anything in life for granted. We are all here for a reason and life chose us. I hope sharing my story has helped someone or somehow. This is somewhat of my journal and my spot to share my life and it makes me feel better to write about it and share, and I hope it helps you.

XOXO
Tori